If you are listening to this podcast episode the day it comes out, it is the week of Christmas, and that is a busy time when you are a parent. So I wanted to do something a little bit different today and keep this episode extra short and sweet because I know you have a lot going on right now. Every week I send out an email to my email list and it is called “just a thought…” and it goes out every Thursday. (Join here: https://client.jenbelltate.com/justathought)
It's just a short email where I share something I have been thinking about: a thought I have had that has helped me in my parenting or in my life. And it's just a little way that I can share some of the thoughts that I have, that might help you to improve your life too. And the last two weeks, I have been sharing some of my thoughts about Christmas in that just a thought email.
So I thought what I would do today is share two of those emails with you so you can get a little taste of what that “just a thought…” email is and so that you can hear my thoughts around Christmas in case they might be helpful for you too.
The first email I'm going to share with you is from December 8th.
Do you ever feel like the holiday season as a parent is a lot of FACILITATING fun but not a lot of HAVING fun?
This holiday season I want you to give yourself the gift of HAVING FUN!
FUN is a choice.
Fun isn't created by what is happening around you, it is how you decide to think about what is happening around you.
When you decide that something is going to be fun, you think about it in a way that creates anticipation and excitement.
When you think, "this is so fun" you create a flood of positive emotions for yourself.
And whether you are baking ridiculous amounts of Christmas treats or ice skating with your family, you just get to decide that you are having fun.
So decide that wrapping the gifts is going to be fun...and you will make it so. Maybe you will have your husband take a day off work while the kids are still in school and make it a wrapping date like my friend does (genius, right?). Or maybe you will have a Hallmark movie marathon while you wrap.
Decide you are going to have fun reading stories with your family under the Christmas tree...and you will make it so. Maybe you will use all the funny voices and have everyone laughing by the end of the book. Or maybe you will just take a second while you are reading to look around and soak in the love you feel for these people you are so blessed to call family.
Decide you are going to have fun finding the perfect gift for your picky teenager...and you will make it so. Maybe you will start thinking of it as a treasure hunt and search for clues in everything your teen does and says. Maybe you will take them on a shopping date so they can pick out their own perfect gift for you to wrap and put under the Christmas tree.
When you decide to have fun, your beautiful brain will get to work making it so!
The next email I want to share with you is from December 15th:
I am pretty sure every mother since the dawn of time has said some version of this Christmas sentiment:
"I just want everyone to get along and be happy."
It sounds so lovely. Of course we want our families to be happy and get along and have a wonderful Christmas Day. I mean, that is the whole reason we work so hard to create the magical Christmas experience for them, right?
But this, my friend, is a TOXIC thought. Like...needs a warning sticker and a leakproof container toxic.
Because no matter what you do, you can never control whether the members of your family get along or feel happy.
You could create the most magical Christmas morning and buy all the perfect gifts and one of your kids might wake up Christmas morning with the flu, burst into tears while opening presents and be absolutely miserable all day long (oh wait...this has actually happened at our house 😬).
You could orchestrate the perfect Christmas activity that everyone would enjoy and one child might accidentally break the other child's brand new Christmas toy on the drive and have sour grapes about it the rest of the day (yep, speaking from experience on this one too.)
How other people feel and what they experience is not in your control.
And while that might seem like bad news, it is actually great news because you don't have to be in charge of that.
You don't have to hang your holiday happiness on how other people decide to experience the day.
Instead, choose the kind of holiday experience you want to have and allow everyone else to have the experience they choose.
Replace the toxic warning label thought with a new one like this:
"I want to allow everyone to have exactly the Christmas experience they choose."
Choose the holiday experience you want to have on purpose and enjoy it!
I hope that these short messages have been helpful for you and that you will have a wonderful experience this holiday season. If you want to get short and sweet emails like this in your inbox every single week, make sure you go to the link in the show notes and sign up to get my just a thought emails so that you don't miss out on the simple ideas and encouragement that will help you really enjoy being a mom. (https://client.jenbelltate.com/justathought)
